Don't Sneeze On Me!
by MillyRing
Summary: Gingka becomes sick and refuses to admit it. Kyoya and Nile keep trying to convince him that he is indeed sick, but the red head was always stubborn. Oh, and did I mention that Ginga's butt gets stuck in every chapter? Contains: Yaoi/Boy x Boy, language, and OOC randomness. Pure crack, but has some romance as well!
1. Chapter 1

**First MFB fanfic! Yay!**

**Dedicated to havarti2.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Metal Fight Beyblade *sobs as she nosebleeds thinking about all of its boys and how they're so gonna fuck each other in my version***

**Warning(s): Gingka, language, and OOC randomness.**

**Enjoy! (I know this is short but I'll be writing chapter two on my road trip, which I'm going on this afternoon. I'll be updating this fic and this fic only during my time in another state. I'll back on Sunday, so don't worry.)**

**Oh, and I apologize before hand: Stupid spell correct is making me say Ryoya instead of Kyoya, so if that happens occasionally please don't kill me! I can't write another chapter if you do! **

* * *

"Kyoya." The green haired boy turned around to see Nile, holding a rather unwilling Gingka. "Unhand me!" Gingka screeched, waving his arms and legs in random directions in an attempt to escape. The attempt pretty much failed, but it was rather comical for those watching. "Yeah?" Kyoya chuckled, ignoring the death glare Gingka sent him. Nile cleared his throat and set Gingka down. Come to think of it, when had Nile gotten strong enough to lift his own weight? And since when was Gingka Nile's weight? That was when Kyoya noticed it. Gingka had a dripping nose, burning forehead, and look absolutely horrible.

More than usual, of course. (Kyoya's thoughts, not mine)

"He's sick?" Kyoya asked with a raised eyebrow, laughing again when Gingka profusely denied this but was interrupted by a powerful sneeze, which happened to send him tumbling into the bushes. Nile nodded his head and laughed a little. "Yes, and he keeps saying he isn't." The two-tone haired boy put his hands on his hips and shook his head. "He refuses to let me give him medicine." A cry of 'medicine is for sissies!' came from the bushes, but it was pretty much ignored.

"Take him to the doctor." Kyoya suggested, watching Gingka roll on the grass restlessly. Nile did something similar to a face palm. "He won't budge!" He exclaimed, pointing towards the currently tumbling and rolling spiky redhead, who sent them both a glare before resuming...Whatever he called that. Kyoya crossed his arms and sighed, trying to figure out a logical way to get Gingka to go to the doctor.

Gingka and Logic weren't exactly best friends forever. No, screw that, they were enemies.

Gingka hated logic with every fiber of his being, which was an unknown number to Kyoya, considering knowing the amount of fibers in someone else's being was rather useless, so he hadn't bothered to check. "I'm not going." Gingka huffed, crossing his arms and turning his back to them, similar to a 5 year old child, which was in fact similar to Gingka considering they acted the same way.

With the five year old being more mature, of course.

"Yes, you are." Nile insisted. Though this was off topic, Kyoya really wanted a sandwich right then. Hey! I told you it was off topic! Somehow, the aspect of sandwiches made him think of Tsubasa, though he couldn't imagine why. That guy was incredibly senseless, according to Gingka. But hey, coming from someone who has a brain the size of a pea, that's not saying much.

At the 'brain the size of a pea', Kyoya began giggling to himself.

Aw, damn it! The jig was up! Not a literally jig, though Lord almighty save them if Gingka began dancing. For your information, Gingka _sucks _at dancing. Anyway, back to the jig is up thingy. So Kyoya began giggling, and so Gingka get suspicious, so he stared at the green haired boy for about 5 seconds before continuing rolling. Did I mention Gingka has the attention span of a dead rat?

What's that you say? 'Idiot, it's dead, it has no attention!'? _Exactly_.

"Gingka, do you even know what you're sick with?" Kyoya asked with an annoyed sigh, growing tired of the red head's display of spinning on his cranium. The red head looked pissed as hell when Kyoya said that, but that wasn't rare in the slightest. Gingka would get pissed at one of those electronic billboards if it changed to another AD while he was reading the previous one.

"I'm not sick, damn it!" Gingka protested, now mumbling the lyrics to 'Party Rock Anthem', which was rather disturbing after the first minute or so. You know, when the guy starts saying things about dicks and stuff? WHAT?! Hell yeah he does that! "Gingka, stop singing that, and take this medicine." Nile approached the other red head cautiously, but Gingka's hyper sense was tingling and he bounded away.

Well, if going about 2 feet before dropping from pure exhaustion counts as 'bounding' away.

Oh, and this is slightly off topic, but Gingka had always reminded Kyoya of Winnie The Pooh's 'Tigger'. Damn, that 'tigger' or whatever he was called was bouncy! It was like a less annoying Gingka! All it did was bounce, sing, bounce, sing! It was Gingka's maternal _twin_! Man, if that thing was real, Kyoya could envision all of the horrible things that would befall this Earth.

For instance, Gingka and 'Tigger' would be constantly shattering glass due to their singing. Damn you Tigger!

"Tigger...!" Kyoya fumed, angry at the supposedly-tiger-related 'thingy' from Winnie The Pooh. Speaking of that, what the hell was a freakin' Pooh?! Couldn't they just say bear for Pete's sake?! But nooooo, fate doesn't give a rat's ass about Pete, so 'fuck his sake', said Fate. Nile gave Kyoya a confused look. "What's a Tigger?" He asked, slightly concerned as the last time this was mentioned, Gingka began singing something that involved that very word.

"Gingka's maternal twin." Kyoya answered nonchalantly, totally forgetting that wasn't really true. Well, it could be true! I mean, come on! The thing is freaking _orange_ like Gingka, bounces like Gingka, probably eats like Gingka, and has wrecked God-knows how much stuff! So, boys and girls who shouldn't be reading this because it's T rated, don't you see? Gingka has a brother!

The thing was, his brother was forever stuck to a page. As was Gingka, at this current moment, as he was sneezing right onto the pages of a random book. "SHIT!" Kyoya and Nile jumped in fear at the random outburst. Gingka had apparently stepped on a beetle and was nursing his non-injured foot. He despised bug juices, bugs, or anything that started with the letter 'B'.

* * *

Later, Nile and Kyoya were sitting on the bench in the doctor's office. Gingka had decided to go as he'd taken a turn for the worst. Literally. He ran into a freakin' wall and broke his nose, the idiot. "I wonder if Gingka's going to be alright." Nile thought aloud, watching the door in which Gingka had gone through. Speaking of Tigger's maternal twin, here he was! Yay! Not.

"Hey." Kyoya mumbled, blue eyes following Gingka's every step. The red head promptly plopped his body down onto the floor, ignoring the doctor's protests. Nile raised an eyebrow curiously. "Aren't you going to sicker from laying on that cold floor?" Gingka scoffed offhandedly, putting his hands behind his head. "Nope." His two friends shrugged and waited for him to...I don't know, he _was _just laying there and being useless.

Finally, they were out of the office. Well, almost. Gingka had become attached to a piece of candy. Literally. His butt was stuck. A STUCK BUTT IS SERIOUS BUSINESS, PEOPLE! So, naturally, we brought out the big guns! No, we like, literally did. Kyoya was holding a big ass gun. "Alright Gingka, I'm gonna shoot you in the butt. I'm sorry, but a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do."

Gingka looked angry at this. "Why?!" He exclaimed, crossing his arms childishly. "BECAUSE YOUR BUTT IS FUCKING STUCK!" Kyoya shouted. If exasperation had a name, it would be Kyoya. The green haired boy was getting tired of Gingka's annoying attitude. He just might shoot more than his butt if he kept this up. "Just know that I've always loved you, Kyoya." Gingka announced dramatically, throwing his arms up in the air.

"Your feelings are not mutual."

Cue the record scratch.

"Just shoot my butt."

Alright, so it turns out that didn't work. So, we called in the other big guns! AKA, another big ass gun! This time, Nile had one as well. So, we weren't able to obtain the exact footage, though we did get the audio! Here it is:

"MY BUTT FUCKING HURTS!"

"I KNOW YOU IDIOT! I'M TRYING TO SPARE YOU THE PAIN!"

"WELL HURRY IT UP, MY BUTT CAN'T WAIT ALL DAY!"

"Nile, why are you laughing?"

"B-Because, you keep saying the word-"

"Butt?!"

"Gahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!"

"My butt hurrrrrttttsss."

"Gingka, shut up and sit still."

Eventually, the big ass gun tactic work. It took a hell of a lot of fire ammo, and let me tell you ladies and gentlemen, that was one stuck butt.

"Gingka. The hell are you doing?" The red head was now, well, wiggling his 'caboose' in the air. It wasn't a very pretty sight, so naturally, Nile and Kyoya felt compelled to point this out and politely ask Gingka to stop. Gingka, however, ignored their pleas. His butt was asleep and needed to be awoken. And if anyone dared played the 'Wiggle' song, they were going to hear from the FBI. And yes, all three of them work for the FBI. Jealous?

"Hey Gingka, the doctor's here." Gingka paused in his 'tailfeather shaking' and turned around to see an evil looking doctor. He did look evil. More evil than that owl that constantly rotated his head in a disturbing way from that Majora's Mask video game. Damn that thing was freakish! "Alright honey," The doctor cooed, stepping suspiciously closer.

"STRANGER DANGER!" Gingka squealed, hiding behind Kyoya, who quickly kicked him back out. Like hell was he dealing with some pyschotic doctor. "It's just a needle." The dcotor said with a obviously fake smile. It was so fake, it made Kim Kardashian's ass look 100% legit. "THINK AGAIN DOCTOR DERANGED, I DON'T DO NEEDLES!*" Gingka yelled before literally tackling the doctor and crushing the needle.

Welp, if that was expensive, then for Pete's sake, cut the redhead some slack because he already has a huge stack of debt.

Oh wait. Fuck Pete, remember? So, fuck Pete and his sake.

All in all, it was a useless day. And it still wasn't over. It was only like, 8:30 in the morning. Oh boy.

* * *

**Poor Gingka. Poor Gingka's butt.  
**

***If anyone can guess where this is from, I'll give you a huge cookie.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Still don't own Metal Fight Beyblade. ;-; Though thanks to Team Starbreaker, it has a canon yaoi love triangle! :D**

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SOMEBODY'S ASS WAS ABOUT TO GET WHOOPED, YO!

"ALRIGHT, WHO ATE MY HAMBURGERS, WHO?!"

The other boys groaned. Gingka had been parading around the house, yelling that all day. Nile had tried to calm him down, but had ended up getting accused himself.

"It was probably Toby." Kyoya suggested dryly.

At this turn of events, Masamune began getting pissed, because Kyoya just threw a diss, at the one guy he wants to be his. Did you notice I made that all rhyme, or were you too busy not understanding it?

"It wasn't me!" Toby protested, crossing his arms in self defense should Gingka decided to pull a Tarzan on him.

Speaking of Tarzan, Gingka was imitating him that very moment. Swinging from tree to tree. Well, not really. Hell, he couldn't even climb the first tree!

"It was boogie man!" Yu screamed before diving under Tsubasa's chair for protection. All was lost when Tsubasa scooted his chair to the left.

Gingka stopped singing the 'Tarzan and Jane' song long enough to process Yu's idea. What if it was the boogie man?! God knows what he might do next! He could, he could...I don't know, kidnap Tsubasa or Toby. The fan girls-who were obviously boogie man's bosses- loved doing that, considering they thought those two were sooooooooo hot.

Pfft. They had horrible taste. He, Gingka Hagame, was the hottest. And he was also gay, so that could've added to the lack of fan girls, but he could be wrong.

"So, if it is said boogie man, what do we do?" Kyoya asked, sounding extremely bored and tired.

"PANIC! WE FLIPPING PANIC!" Yu screamed from under Tsubasa.

For some odd reason, the fact that Yu was sitting under Tsubasa's chair reminded Gingka of a chicken and an egg. Unsettling thoughts began seeping into his mind. It's up to your imagination to figure out what they were.

"What if it was," Toby gulped, "teletubbies?!"

They (excluding Tsubasa, who had fallen asleep, and Kyoya, who didn't know what teletubbies was) all screamed. NOT TELETUBBIES!

"We've gotta hide!" Masemune suggested bravely, pumping a fist into the air.

OK, the braveness sorta dropped to very low levels the moment he said 'hide', but it's fine. FOR NOW! DUN DUN DUN!

Then Gingka sneezed. Loudly.

Yu thought this was a raging teletubbie (what this sounded like, no one wanted to know) and started death squeezing-as in hugging- Tsubasa, who was completely awake and completely confused. Toby was randomly flailing his arms in different directions, while Masamune was trying to figure out how to get into his pants.

Oops, ignore that last statement there.

Speaking of getting into Toby's pants, Zeo happened to be spying on all of them (if you could call eating lunch nearby spying) and decided to wreck Masamune for trying to get his guy. Shut up, fan girls! There was no way in hell or in teletubbie land that he was gonna have a love triangle. No way, no how.

Anyway, eventually the gang decided to head into the Teletubbie defense bunker! Or TDB, whatever you want to call it. Yu named it, with a plastic soda bottle and everything. Oh, and if you're wondering why Nile is, he's getting them all weapons.

"Tsu-chan." Yu tugged on Tsubasa's arm. "Do you like Ryoga or me?"

Tsubasa did a double take. He didn't like Ryoga, no, but...Yu was a freaking little kid! Was that pedophilia? Well, if the kid was willing-Just never mind.

"You."

Yu looked pleased with this answer and proceeded to run in circles screaming 'the enemy is near' or 'doom is upon us'.

Frankly, the TBD was kind of boring. There wasn't a Wii or an Xbox in it, for one thing. Gingka vaguely noted that it was probably Dipsy who'd taken his hamburgers. Or Tinkie Winkie, considering he had a top hat and seemed fatter than the others.

All of a sudden, they heard a scream. And the several other screams, but those were Yu's. The first one...? Probably Toby. It was always Toby.

Yep, it was Toby.

"Everybody stay calm-" Kyoya tried, but failed because of an extremely angry Zeo.

"KYOYA! I CAN'T STAY FUCKING CALM! TINKIE WINKIE HAS CAPTURED TOBY!" Zeo screamed at the top of his lungs, which was actually very, very loud. Ouch.

They all gasped. NOT TINKIE WINKIE! HE WAS THE MOST MALICIOUS ONE OF ALL! Toby's goose was cooked.

"What if someone else is next?" Gingka asked shakily, edging away from all of the windows and doors.

Yu was really freaking out now. He was like a high on sugar wombat! I don't even know what a wombat looks like, but I don't wanna know. Anyway, the point is, they were all freaking out.

Meanwhile...

"I'LL NEVER TELL YOU ANYTHING! NEVER! NOTHING!" Toby screeched, though it was more out of terror than of bravery.

He refused to let these...'teletubbies' win! Especially Tinkie Winkie. He fucking sucked ass!

* * *

**Oh no! Tinkie Winkie's got Toby! Who's next?!  
**

**R&amp;R or else I'll sic Tinkie Winkie on you. And for the people who have no idea what the heck Teletubbies is, it's an old show. Just Google it. -3-  
**


	3. IMPORTANT NOTE! Please read!

**Hi everyone. This is Anna, Melody's best friend in real life. Recently, someone close to Anna has passed away and she took it very...well, she's very emotional right now. So, please give her some time in updating her fics.**

**She's just very saddened by this event, having lost a total of 4 people now in her life that mattered to her, you can imagine she's just breaking down.**

**She herself said this, and I quote, 'Everyone I love is just dying!' while sobbing and hugging me. :(**

**I would also appreciate it if you sent her Private Messages of support. This is a hard time for her, so Melody really needs some encouragement.**

**Thank you so much for reading this, and I beg you to show Melody that you're here for her. Please send your condolences.**

**-Anna**


	4. Update from me, Melody, please read

**UPDATE**

**Hi. It's me, Melody. Anna is typing this for me because I'm still crying. I am sorry that I myself won't be able to update my stories for a little while. I have given Anna, who's account on here is cherrysmash, permission to log on to this account and update my stories.**

**But most of all...I wanted to thank you all for all of the kind messages. Anna insisted I get on the computer, and I told her I was far too upset. She said something on it would warm my heart.**

**And it did.**

**So many well wishes, 'I'm sorry for your loss', or 'you can get through this' type messages. I cupped my hand over my mouth I was so surprised. And for the first time today, I felt happy.**

**And it is all thanks to you guys.**

**If it wasn't for you all, I'd still be in the bathroom sobbing, screaming 'why?!' over and over again.**

**It's because of you all.**

**Thank you.**

**Just thank you, so much.**

**You have no idea how much it means to me.**

**The moment Anna notified you all, my inbox filled up with over 13 messages. That is amazing...**

**And to me, it's a miracle.**

**I hope I can get through this, and I know I can if I have everyone's support.**

**Thank you all.**

**Melody.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey...**

**So. I know I haven't updated this in like, forever, because of various problems in my life, the biggest being the death of my friend. But, guess what? Melody's back, everyone! Now, keep in mind that my humor might not be the best because I'm currently in a hotel room and suffering the tooth ache of the century, so I'm not at my best.  
**

_**I own nothing but Melody, my OC who I've inserted in here for various reasons.**_

**Thank you everyone who's reviewed! It means so much to me! Y'all are the greatest! Also, I'm going to be saying Ginga instead of Gingka from now on, just because I've gotten used to it.  
**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

Last time!

Toby has been ruthlessly kidnapped by the evil Tinkie Winkie!

So, our...er...heroes, yes, that sounds good, heroes! Are trying to rescue him. Will they succeed?!

"You're such an idiot, Ginga." Kyoya remarked with a grin as he watched the red head try to dig a hole with a plastic spoon. Ginga ignored him and continued digging.

"Maybe you should stop..." Zeo offered meekly, not wanting to incur Pegasus's wielder's wrath.

Unfortunately, that's what he did.

Ginga began singing 'Why Is Everybody Always Hating On Me' over and over again. It was kind of catchy, but no one would admit it. Just then, Doji strode over to the group and waved cheerily.

"Hello kiddies!"

They all stared at him without blinking for around 15 minutes before Kyoya said something.

"What are _you _doing here?"

"I was bored." Doji replied sadly. He grinned. "Besides! I just went online and discovered that there are girls who love writing fics about you guys having intercourse."

"What's intercourse?" They all asked innocently (aside from Kyoya, because he knew already. We won't ask how).

"It's when one guy pulls down another guy's pants and a bunch of awesomeness happens." answered a black haired girl who'd appeared out of nowhere. She wore a shirt that said 'yaoi' on it and looked very pumped and excited.

"Indeed, my dear." Doji clapped his hands in agreement.

"Fuck you, Doji." The black-haired girl spat, kicking the man in the spot where his testicles lived happily - well, not so happily now that they'd been kicked rather violently. "You're an asshole."

"If she thinks Doji's an asshole, she can write about me having intercourse anytime!" Ginga cheered happily.

"Thanks!" The girl replied with a grin. "I'm Melody, by the way; pleased to meet you."

"You're the girl that always writes about us, aren't you?" Masamune (God knows where he came from) piped up curiously, studying the mysterious girl.

"Yeah." Melody replied with a shrug. Then she looked at Zeo. "What are you going to do about Toby? Hasn't he been kidnapped by Teletubbies or something?"

"OH MY GOSH YOU'RE RIGHT!"

And, with that, Zeo began spazzing out and flailing his arms in random directions. It's only funny because Gingka proceeded to copy him while crossing his eyes and singing the song 'Boyfriend' by Justin Beaver- I mean, Bieber.

Meanwhile...

"Give us your money!" Tinkie Winkie demanded (yes, they can talk. Deal with it~) angrily, raising his random cane that he just so happen to be wielding.

"I don't have any!" Toby protested, eying the cane worriedly. "Why would I, anyway?!"

"I DON'T KNOW, JUST GIVE IT TO ME NOW!" Tinkie Winkie's eyes shone with blood-lust and malice, and his stomach grumbled loudly -

Oops, the last part was a useless piece of info. Sorry.

Back to the other guys.

"Where do you think Toby's being held?" Zeo asked Melody worriedly as he watched Masamune and Ginga do the Chicken Dance.

"Probably in the Teletubbie domain's main base of operation." The girl answered gravelly. "I would know, because I snuck into their base once and barely escaped with my life!"

"They tried to kill you?!" Ginga asked, horrified.

Melody nodded hurriedly. "Yeah!"

At this point, everyone was so distraught they began to wail hysterically.

* * *

**Who _doesn't _want to write the boys having intercourse? Anyone? Is it just me? Oh, alright...  
**

**Anyway, the humor is horrible and the spellings in previous chapters were as well due to spell correct, but that problem's fixed, so hopefully things will work out better for this fic now. **

**In your review, I don't want to hear any type of critique in your review. None of this fic is meant to be good or serious, and the misspellings of certain character's names (Ryuga and Kyoya for example) isn't really my fault. This isn't meant to be taken seriously, so don't do so and be overly blunt. Thank you.  
**


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